Saturday, December 5, 2009

So let's go out for old times sake.

Decided to write to you from New York today. I'm currently in the midst of an issue, and what I'd like to say is,
Don't let fear control you. Don't succumb to the what ifs.

"Leap and the net will appear." -Zen Saying

Or, some quotes by well known people:

"Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. " - Cadet Maxim

"Do one thing every day that scares you." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I... I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost

"Progress always involves risks. You can't steal second base and keep your foot on first. " - Frederick B. Wilcox

"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. " - Robert F. Kennedy

(Watched The Misfits last night at Billy's)

P.S. I'm going to get a van and make it look like the mystery machine.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Come put your hand in mine, everybody's welcome.

Courage is the triumph of the soul

I know where I wanna walk; I know where I wanna go
So come put your hand in mine
Everybody's welcome

Music is what God wants us to do
Sing a song for me; I'll sing a song for you
When we put our voices together,
We create a harmony

And we bring you some love a love a love; love a love a love a love a love a love
Its love a love a love, love a love a love a love a love a, la la love
All I want to share with you is all my love, it's all I really care to do

Champion the idea of one love
All people the same, one beautiful race
Making a home of this beautiful place
And be grateful for the precious gifts of life
Sunshine and Water
Food from the greatest giver

Anything you want can be yours at anytime
Anything you want can be yours at anytime

Its love a love a love, love a love a love a love a love a love
It's love a love a love, love a love a love a love a love a, la la love
All I want to share with you, it's all I know, it's all I really care to do
Anything you want can be yours at anytime
All I want to share with you is all my love, its all I really care to do
Anything you want can be yours at anytime
Anything you want can be yours at anytime

Saturday, November 28, 2009

“There's no reality except the one contained within us. That's why so many people live an unreal life. They take images outside them for reality and never allow the world within them to assert itself.” - Hermann Hesse

I'm not quite sure how I feel at the moment.

Part of me is upset that my laptop has somehow contracted a virus and now I am being attacked by pop-ups. Part of me is inspired to start looking for a job. Part of me is feeling incredibly lazy. Part of me just got extremely angry because the virus that my laptop contracted won't let me open iTunes, and I have an intense need to listen to Nat King Cole and Miles Davis.

But back to the quote at the top. It reminds me of something that I've heard Jason Mraz mention several times. The most recent instance was a few days ago, and on that particular day he chose to believe that he was a child, new and open to the world.

Unfortunately, I am as unsure about what I believe myself to be as I am about my feelings at the moment. I guess I'll get back to you on that.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Thank you, thank you, thank you, you're far too kind

I guess this may be considered a day late, but I'd just like to use this post to write about what I'm thankful for.

The Sublime Jingo in all its mystery
2. My friends
3. More specifically, Deb. I look back, even over the past few weeks, and I fail to understand how she puts up with me.
4. My family, no matter how duplicitous some of them may be.
5. Kati, for making my brother happy
6. My epic number of followers. Haha
7. People I don't know who have an indirect effect on my life.
8. Bob Dylan. I wish I could stress that more.
9. Falafel.
10. This fuzzy and incredibly comfy blanket that I'm currently wrapped in.
11. Lance Armstrong
12. Jason Mraz. His music, his inspiration
13. Rob Breszny/Free Will Astrology/Pronoia
14. MLIA
15. MLIG
16, Daniel Craig's James Bond sexiness
17. Random thought-provoking and inspiring blogs
18. George Lucas, for creating Star Wars
19. Vanilla scented items
20. My homemade tea
21. My record player
22. Selena Gomez

23. Pictionary
24. The Lakers, for making basketball interesting for me
25. Jack Kerouac, Neal Cassady, and Allen Ginsberg

There's so much more, but I don't want to make this obnoxiously long.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Let's put our heads together now, let's put all old matters to an end

I think one of the most important things a person can do is forgive.

To be magnanimous, means to be noble and generous in spirit. It is the greatness of mind, the elevation and dignity of soul.

When I hear or see this term, I feel as if there is no such thing as being too forgiving. But in saying this, I don't mean that you suddenly forget how someone may have wronged you. To forgive means to understand why a specific circumstance made you upset and/or angry, and then to understand why the other person did what they did. People assume that those who are supposedly "too forgiving" are just weak in character. But when I take into account the above definition of magnanimity and what it truly is to forgive, my idea is actually the opposite. To be able to understand another's perspective and use it to restore amity, I believe can truly strengthen one's character.

I actually didn't have intentions of referencing Buddhism in this post, but it obviously applies very well.

In Buddhism, to deny someone forgiveness can cause great chaos to your mental well-being.
"In contemplating the law of karma, we realize that it is not a matter of seeking revenge but of practicing metta and forgiveness, for the victimizer is, truly, the most unfortunate of all."

"If we haven’t forgiven, we keep creating an identity around our pain, and that is what is reborn. That is what suffers." - Ajahn Sumedho

And directly from the Dhammapada:
“He abused me, he struck me, he overcame me, he robbed me’ -- in those who harbor such thoughts hatred will never cease.”
“He abused me, he struck me, he overcame me, he robbed me’ -- in those who do not harbor such thoughts hatred will cease.”

I end this blog with a sincere love for every being in this ever-evolving universe.

Peace to the cosmos.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

This is a call of arms to live and love and sleep together.

One thing I've had on my mind lately - youth.

Specifically, my incredible need to find a youth to inspire. I don't have any younger siblings, nor do I have any nieces or nephews. I have one younger cousin, who lives across the country. I was never granted the opportunity to babysit, and in general I was never really around kids, excluding the ones I hung out with when I myself was younger. And now, I am dealing with a sort of withdrawal. I so desperately want a toddler/young child to hang out with. Call it a sort of Holden Caulfield complex, if you wish.

"Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be." - The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger

I don't know. That's all I have to say.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

And my vision is as simple as light

My current playlist is a combination of Jason Mraz and Woody Guthrie. It has just finished raining, and the view outside of my window has an extreme sense of gray. For some reason, it's reminding me of how messy my room is. Perhaps because both views look quite bleak. However, something about the shade of gray intertwining with the raindrops on my window is exciting me. It kind of makes me feel happy.

My desire to be a musician has just been reaffirmed. Over the past few weeks I've been feeling secretly pessimistic about the possibility, but after some thought and motivating words, I feel good about it again. Only I'm still slightly worried because ever since school started, I haven't picked up my guitar much. The calluses that were emerging have now faded! I'll see what's what today.

In the meantime, I recommend this site to you:

It's a Daily Motivator. It was the post from yesterday that happened to motivate me.

Oh, and Happy Sweetest Day to everyone! It's a holiday that emerged in the midst of the Great Depression, where a man set out to commit acts of kindness to the homeless and deprived. Today, we celebrate this holiday by getting small gifts or doing nice things for our friends and neighbors. You know what I'm thinking? Why can't we do this everyday? It's like the Earth Day thing. Why only help the Earth on one day? Shouldn't we strive to be eco-friendly every day? *shrug*

“I am out to sing songs that will prove to you that this is your world and that if it has hit you pretty hard and knocked you for a dozen loops, no matter what color, what size you are, how you are built, I am out to sing the songs that make you take pride in yourself and in your work. And the songs that I sing are made up for the most part by all sorts of folks just about like you.” - Woody Guthrie

Monday, October 12, 2009

Love yourself.

Weirdest musical urges today. I don't remember what I was listening to at first, but I stopped and realized I wanted to listen to Tupac, so I got his first albums. And then I got Asher Roth's entire discography. And now I'm listening to Billie Holiday.

Anywho, the rest of this blog is dedicated to loving and empowering yourself.

"It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of someone elses life with perfection" -the Bhagavad Gita

"Eventually I discovered for myself the utterly simple prescription for creativity: be intensely yourself. Don't try to be outstanding; don't try to be a success; don't try to do pictures for others to look at - just please yourself" - Ralph Steiner

"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with." -Wayne Dyer

I love the last quote. Love ittt. In conclusion, one day, I will have a couch like this:

P.S. Happy Native American Oppression Day everyone!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Wait, they don't love you like I love you.

Interesting, the way things work out sometimes. Very interesting.

Random fact: I like being vague. Moving on.

I decided to commit myself to mahayana buddhism. Or at least incorporate it into my life. Over the weekend I spent a great deal of time reading about various eastern philosophies and religions and it sort of just spoke to me. And yesterday I purchased a translation of the Dhammapada.

So I went to the first GLSBA meeting at my school today. I was in it last year as well, but I think this year will be even better. All the new people who stopped by seemed so nice.

I haven't gotten around to re-establishing my love for punk, but I have been listening to a lot of Yeah Yeah Yeahs recently. Not sure why, exactly. Maybe it was finding out Karen O is part polish. Haha. Either way, I have their entire discography but I can't stop listening to the acoustic version of Maps. It's absolutely.. lovely. In every sense of the word. It's lovely in the highest form.

I'm so exhausted. I think I'm going to hit the hay early tonight. A sleep-indulged Margret is a happy Margret.

Hmm. Sometimes it scares me how much I just want people to be happy..

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Sit back and wave through the daylight

Just a random update.

I'm sitting in my room, fresh out of the shower. The sun is setting outside of my window. Listening to the Sex Pistols. This blue flannel is so comfy.

Today was insanely uneventful compared to last night, and yet I'm still pretty satisfied. I'm in a good mood and I think I want to try opening my third eye. ( )

I want to get back to my roots in music. Throughout middle school and part of high school I was in love with 70s/80s punk. My favorite band was The Clash. They still technically are, because my other favorite artists are solo people. So anywho, I have a need to get back into it, which I'm kind of doing now. I need to re-download all of the crap I used to have though.

It's so dark in my room now, but the sky never fails to impress me at this time of day.

I usually have this strange prejudice towards female writers. I just really dislike the way most stuff by women is written. I wish I could change it, but I just can't help it. That's why I particularly like Kerouac. His style is so raw. I pray to the Sublime Jingo that my own writing can have a similar quality. I don't think it does yet. But anyway, recently I picked up Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead and I actually really like it. I'm about a hundred pages in.

I think I've succeeded in making this a completely pointless post. Goodbye, and have a lovely evening.

Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth" - Ayn Rand

Monday, September 28, 2009

Take what you have gathered from coincidence

One of the greatest feelings in the world is coming back home after you've been away for a while.

While this can apply literally, I am using it in a more figurative sense.

My favorite musical artist is Bob Dylan, and he has been since the spring of 2008. I listened to him for days on end, reading whatever I could find, watching whatever films and documentaries were available, and getting the opportunity to see him in concert that August.

Since then, I've gone through periods where I have mini obsessions. I listen to an artist non-stop and find myself without hearing Dylan for weeks. Some examples were The Doors, John Legend, and Jason Mraz.

I have been asked whether Bob Dylan was still my favorite artist on several occasions. Although I do go through those mini obsessions, there's something different about Dylan. After all this time, I still come away with something new every time I listen to this songs. There is always another line interpreted, or another message gained.

On this particular day, I decided to give his first albums a listen and found myself comforted in the familiar lyrics.

Why am I going on about this? I encourage you to return to something or some place you've been neglecting.

Song of the Moment - Like a Rolling Stone. A diversion from the early sound, but that first step into the song, that first hit and the melody that immediately follows, it never fails to be epic for me.

P.S. Happy Yom Kippur to those of the Jewish faith, including Bob Dylan.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Sharing love.

This has been randomly on my mind for a few months now. I've researched it from time to time and it has come up in a book or two.

Polygamous relationships. I don't necessarily mean in which one man has multiple wives or vice versa. What I mean is a group of people in love.

For example, what if there was three people, and each one wholly loved the other two? Or ten people? Or twenty people?

A group in which every one enjoyed the others' company and was attracted to one another.

Why was it instilled in our minds that a relationship has to take place between two people? Why can't there be 5 people that are all married to each other?

I, too, am still a bit thrown by this idea. Obviously, it's not what we're used to. I just think it's a lovely concept.

I think I'll ask more people's opinions on this.

Sunday, September 20, 2009


I have been a beginner in different ways recently.

There is the obvious: I am a recently appointed junior in high school.
I am also still a beginner to this phase of being we call life.
I am a beginner in learning to utilize my power.
I am a beginner to the idea of combining multiple religions.
I am a beginner to the night life.

"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's mind there are few" - Shunryu Suzuki

Moving on. Well, actually I have nothing to move on to. Let's talk about vision boards.

About ... two weeks (?) ago I decided to make a vision board. What is a vision board? It's a way of asking the universe for the things you want, which is the first step in asserting your power and utilizing "The Secret".

The idea is that you take a poster board and fill it with pictures and words of things you'd like in life. It can be as broad or specific as you'd like. Then you keep it in a place where you're sure to see it every day. The thing is, you have to invest all of your positive emotions in it. You have to have a state of mind in which you believe that what you asked for is already coming true. Any idea that failure is a possibility will taint the process.

I'm actually looking at my board now, and so far, I have progressed in almost every aspect. I speak with great confidence when I say that mine is already a success.

That's just an example.

So yes, go utilize your power in the form of a vision board.
I'll try and think of something more interesting for my next entry.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

It's better to light a candle than to curse the dark

For starters, so many people are more blessed than they think they are.

Most likely, you have two eyes, with which you have the ability to see the beauty this world has to offer.
Most likely, you have two legs, with which you have the ability to go to a destination of your liking.
Most likely, you have the ability to hear and enjoy music. If you're really lucky, you can create music as well.
Family, friends, the opportunity to enrich yourself and gain knowledge, the very breath in your lungs, but most importantly: the ability to find happiness in life

Many of the things you don't like in life can be changed. And if they can't, you-like every other person-have the willpower and ability to appreciate what you do have. There's an overwhelming amount of people who seemingly have nothing, and yet are genuinely happy with what they have. So there's no reason why you can't be grateful. And if you're always grateful and satisfied with what you do have, gaining more will be that much better.

So, yes, it's better to light a candle than to curse the dark. But if you can't find a candle, let your eyes readjust to the dark, accept what's there, and then embrace it.

Monday, August 31, 2009

I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze

This is my last week of summer, and I find myself with a few voids to fill.

Firstly, I'm ridiculously anxious to go shopping for new clothes.

Secondly, I want to have an insanely unforgettable night out. One that I can imagine being accompanied by the song I Gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas. I want to go out on the town with friends and just blow all my money (at least whatever will be left after I go shopping). Hahah.

Thirdly.. okay so I actually just have those two voids. Hmm.

Other than that, I'll take a minute to mention a recent musical obsession of mine: K'naan.

Particularly this one song called Take a Minute. It makes me fall in love with life all over again.

I wish I took the chance to meet him at the Jason Mraz concert, but at the time all I was thinking was, "Must stay by door until rain stops" Hah

"The happiness of one's own heart alone cannot satisfy the soul; one must try to include, as necessary to one's own happiness, the happiness of others." - Paramahansa Yogananda, Autobiography of a Yogi

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

This is a perfect moment

Why? We all know perfection doesn't exist. Or does it?

Really, perfection is just ever-changing, and its changes are impossible to capture because it's always a step ahead. For example: You think to yourself, "If I add some sort of metaphor here, this poem will be perfect" or "If I buy these shoes, my outfit will be perfect" and it's true that these additions will make your creation a perfect one. But by the time you have made those changes, the idea of perfection has already been reshaped. Now, the title to the poem isn't quite right, or the bracelet that I've added to my ensemble may be a bit too much. But just because you can't quite capture perfection, doesn't mean that in that one fleeting moment, it doesn't exist.

And taking a more religious approach, if you believe in a Sublime Creator, you can also realize that while we cannot physically hold each moment, we can acknowledge that each one was specifically crafted by this ultimate being. Each one specifically catered to possessing someone's birth, someone's death, and someone's first taste of a falafel. In that sense, it's kind of perfect. It has no physical form or means of measurement, and yet contains innumerable events, and they're happening every time we stop to think about them, and every time we don't.

If we slow down and stop trying to capture a long-lasting sense of flawlessness, we can appreciate each fleeting moment for what it holds: perfection.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Haappyy birthdayyy dear meee

I'm officially starting my 17th year. It's quite odd. The usual thought at this age falls to the acquiring of a permit, starting job hunts, or the general idea of feeling older and more mature. And while I have these things in mind, I have never been more aware of my youth. In the past I've always liked the idea of adding one more tally mark to my internal chart, but am more aware that I should be soaking in every last bit of each year. Plus, if we take the average life span into account, I still have another 60 or so years. If I have gained all my current knowledge in 16 years, the thought of 60 more years of knowledge and experience is somewhat overwhelming.

But anywho, I do not want to be one of the people who say, "I wish I was 16 again. I took it for granted by trying to look, act, and feel older"

Granted, through the ages, being 16 carried different meanings. At one point, 16 meant the graduation from college for some. At another point, especially for females, 16 meant getting ready to be married. Sometimes it meant already being married and having kids.

These days everyone has their own personal idea of what 16 should look and feel like. That being said, I realize that I can look at a fellow 16 year old and have the idea that they're rushing the aging process, but then remember that they just have a different idea of what being 16 means. So when I said that I don't want to try looking, acting, and feeling older, I meant it in relation to my own personal 16 image. I don't want to rush my own natural, and equally significant idea of being a teenager.

"Ah, but I was so much older then. I'm younger than that now" - Bob Dylan

P.S. I'm finishing this at 9:20pm. I was born at 9:03pm, meaning I have been officially 16 for 17 minutes.

P.P.S. Happy Birthday to Steve Carell! Hah

Thursday, August 13, 2009

No-particular-reason update

Three days until my birthday! I can't believe I'm only turning 16. I feel so young compared to my friends (besides Deb. Haha)

Today was interesting in terms of music. I went from listening to a combination of Billie Holiday, early Dylan, and Jason Mraz. Then I went into just Billie, and soon added some Ella Fitzgerald. And then I randomly got the urge to listen to Billy Idol, which turned into an urge to listen to some 70s and 80s punk. But mainly, I got very into Billy Idol today. I wonder if it has to do with my thing with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and the way they referenced Billy Idol as stealing his image from Spike. Haha

Also hung out with Lisa and we played some guitar.

I feel very on the verge of writing something, though I'm not sure what yet.

The other day, I finished Buffy, and I cried. I felt so empty. So I wrote a song about it for closure. Lmao. Yes, I wrote a song inspired by Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's not the weirdest inspiration I've gotten. I once wrote a poem after watching a Biography special of Pee Wee Herman. Haha

Yeah, that's all I got today. No particularly inspiring words. Here are some nice lyrics:

Oh dancing with myself
Oh dancing with myself
Well there's nothing to lose
And there's nothing to prove
I'll be dancing with myself

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I'm a ghetto blaster, a microphone commander, a chain reactor, when I'm in love

Hmm. Two things on my mind. Crushes and stoicism. Haha.

I recently decided to swear off love interests. Why? Well, I currently see no one worth being with. But more importantly, you can't be with someone until you can be with yourself. Going further, it is not healthy for the soul to be in love if one does not love herself/himself. Secondly, it is generally a whole bunch of unnecessary confusion. But that's where I got confused. I was trying to convince myself that it is wrong for people to base their happiness on another person, and that life is robbed of meaning when our primary focus is the attention of another. And while I still don't think it should totally consume us, I remembered that sometimes we put ourselves in pain to remind ourselves that we're truly alive. Maybe having a crush is the soul's way of proving its existence, thus giving it meaning. In this way, maybe we're all masochists. Therefore I retreat the second thought. But if it is natural for a significant interest to cause confusion and pain, I at least swear it off until I find someone who can prove to me that they're worth the confusion.

On to stoicism. Now, I'm not particularly a fan of most of the details and history. However I did find one point interesting while reading about it. It was stated by a certain philosopher that it is not things that we fear, but the idea of those things. For example, we are not frightened by death. We are frightened by the idea that death is frightening. In my case, I am not scared of the future, but rather scared of the idea that the future will be a negative one. And if it is an idea we're afraid of, well ideas can be changed, and therefore so can your fear.

That's all I have for today.

P.S. The Jason Mraz concert was this past Sunday. I don't want to use this to go into full detail, but it was amazing. I was so close to getting a backstage pass thing from a lady who was handing them out, but she ran out. I almost convinced myself to start flirting with one of the security guards for one. Hahaha. But I swore to myself that I would meet this man one day.

Saturday, August 1, 2009


I've been a teensy weensy bit obsessed with Buffy the Vampire slayer lately. I used to watch it every morning before school two or three years ago, but never saw all of the episodes. Well I recently borrowed seasons from my brother's girlfriend Kati. I finished the 4th season today but realized I couldn't get the 5th and 6th until tomorrow. I was panic-stricken. What am I to do? I asked myself over and over until I realized that I was on the brink of great boredom.

Now, I do think even boredom is taken for granted these days. One day, after having reached adulthood, we may be at a point where we cannot find one sacred moment of peace or silence. It will be at that point where we will look back upon these youthful days and resent ourselves for not appreciating the opportunity to just be bored.

However, I did not find today to be a day in which I could appreciate boredom. So I set about finding something to do. I pass on my ideas to you

1. Clean. While I am horribly unorganized, I love actually having a clean room. They say a cluttered room allows a cluttered life.
2. Listen to the most obscure and interesting combination of songs in your media player. Mine were You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch, Satisfaction by Benny Benassi, Take a Chance on Me by ABBA, and Superstition by Stevie Wonder.
3. Decorate something in quotes. I chose a deflated happy face balloon that was bought for me in June. I didn't finish mine yet though.
4. Study something. I looked over my driver's manual and went into philosophy. Notice how I strategically avoided my summer reading.
5. Dress up. It's not just for 8 year olds, but now can successfully entertain anyone who is dying for something to do. I perfected a girl version of Jim Morrison's (The Doors) look.
6. Stare at a lava lamp. Obviously only works if you own a lava lamp. Do not attempt to stare at a pretend lava lamp. Over-heating of this pretend lamp will cause your brain to explode and you will go insane.
7. Write. Yesterday, I wrote a melody. I only wrote a chorus today, but it did successfully preoccupy me.
8. Learn how to do something. eHow and WikiHow are among my most visited sites because of the random things I always look up. Teach yourself anything from beatboxing to knitting. Today I learned how to meditate on chakras

"I've got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom" - Thomas Carlyle

P.S. I would choose Spike of Buffy the Vampire Slayer over Edward of Twilight any day. He's a hunk of danger with a british accent and gut-splitting humor. And he doesn't sparkle.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Gimme gimme that high ten

Okay, so it's somewhat well-known now that one of my goals in life is to inspire others. I decided to look up and see if there's any sites or articles that help explain how one can spread optimism. Turns out, there are none. Well at least none that I could find. So I decided to wing it and create a list or How-To of my own, right here.

How to Be Optimistic and Spread Your Optimism

1. It all really starts with you. How can you expect to have an influence on others if you yourself cannot embrace optimism? So whether it's just appreciating the fact you're alive, or trying not to view every day as potential for ruin, you must welcome some shred of optimism into everyday thinking. What you emanate to the universe, you get back. If you think negatively, your life will most likely continue being negative.

2. Show appreciation for those around you. Meaning the people you see everyday working at your local supermarket, the man/woman behind the counter at the store, or really, just anyone you see who usually wouldn't get the time of day. By showing appreciation, I mean a sincere "Hello", "please" and "thank you". It could be exactly what that person needs!

3. Smile. People underestimate a sincere smile. I have this whole anecdote about a girl in my school who randomly gave me the nicest smile, even though we had never spoken, and how it was refreshing compared to the other glaring or blank faces.
Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. " - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

4. Inspire it in your friends and/or family. They're the ones you spend most of your time with anyway. It would help if you were all on the same page. If they hesitate to embrace it, don't let it discourage you. Continue in being positive and eventually it may rub off on them without their knowing it.

5. Tell others why you appreciate them. You can write one (or all) of your friends a letter, telling them only of their positive qualities. You can also just tell them in person. It doesn't matter. It's the greatest gift and maybe they'll do it in return. But it's always nice to know why people are grateful for your friendship.

6. Go out and make a difference. This usually means volunteering, or sort of community service. Preferably something in which you profit nothing but the satisfaction of helping others. It could even mean offering to babysit without pay, because the person may need it.

7. Have hope. Not everyone will appreciate or understand the idea of optimism. This doesn't mean you should give up. Having hope means risking pain, but to risk nothing at all and settling on negativity is truly more painful.

I think people have a misguided view of optimists. That they're all happy-go-lucky, and all they want to do is shove their preachy-ness down your throat and/or into your mind, and they don't know what real pain is. Optimism acknowledges negative situations, but chooses to not succumb to the negative effects of those situations. One great optimist, who I've mentioned, is Lance Armstrong. Do you think he lacks the knowledge of what real pain is?

8. Find your own optimistic person to think of when you find yourself far down a negative road. When I feel hopeless, I say to myself, "If Lance Armstrong can beat multiple cancers and break the world record of consecutive TdF wins, there is NO reason I can't..." You get the point.
Lance Armstrong is a great person to use because no matter what, he will always be the man who defied his death sentence and achieved ridicilous accomplishments. It makes your problems seem a bit trivial. Just watch this - For whenever you feel like quitting. haha.

I don't know what else I could put. If I think of anything else, I will come back and add it in. Or perhaps people will have a few suggestions.

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending" - Maria Robinson

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Gimme gimme that low dough

I find myself facing a lot of questions and contradictions. Some smaller than others.

Is music really what I want to do? Am I ready to put my whole heart and soul into it?

What exactly defines a friend? A best friend? Are there certain expectations you should have for them?

What really is our purpose, as a people? What is love, and is it our reason for being? What significance do our souls hold, if they exist?

Jason Mraz recently wrote in a post about how people, especially writers, should approach philosophy as a cafeteria, in which we can pick and choose different items every day. And while it's not the most reassuring thing, it's what I do. It's what I've always kind of done, but I've finally realized it and accepted it.

My deepest and most basic philosophy is that the glass is half-full. That love is what surrounds us, and what we must welcome into our lives. And it is everything else that I pick apart and decide to believe or not believe, such as ideas of God, souls, soul-mates, definitions of friendship etc.

So it's really the first two questions that I must still answer. Deep in my heart, I know I want to pursue music. I'm just scared, which is why those questions are still there. Hmm. I don't know.

Right now, if I could be anywhere, I would be in California. Given a whole globes-worth of places to choose, California may not be original but.. oh well. I would be on the beach in California, staring at the sunset. Whether or not I'm by myself, I'm not sure. I do feel quite isolated in my own thoughts right now, but I feel as if I need to share every last one of them, though I don't know where or who I'd start with. But just the general idea of that beach seems amazing.

New York City may be my heart's home but California would be its escape

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Gimme gimme that high five

Other than a huge but temporary mental breakdown on Tuesday, my days remain uneventful. Well, not uneventful per se but nothing worth mentioning happens.

I was going to sleep, but decided to check Facebook, and now here I am: bored, yet extremely awake.

Okay, well, I'm almost officially a holder of a Jason Mraz concert ticket for August 9thhhhh. After the sacrifice of the Bob Dylan concert, and the realization that I was never getting that John Legend ticket, my mom offered to buy it for my birthday, which is exactly a week after the show.

Hah, my mind is like pacing back and forth for things to say.

I guess I'll just go on this one musing and end it there. Most of the time, you will probably be your worst enemy. But that doesn't mean you can't be generally optimistic. Embracing optimism doesn't mean you're happy-go-lucky 24/7. It doesn't mean you're constantly preaching, like I've sorta been.

Optimism isn't the absence of worries or doubts, but rather the acknowledgment of those doubts, and in turn choosing not to let those doubts conquer you.

Make a mental note of that, I just thought of it. Haha.

Something interesting that I tried- Imagine your ideal life. Imagine everything about it. Where you live, who you live with, what you do. Visualize it for 15 minutes. Do this once a week and gradually work towards achieving everything in your visualization. I did this once so far (a few hours ago), but I feel like it's working so well already. Haha. Well, it's making me optimistic and seeing that visualization as realistic. It sounds cheesy but it's like a subconscious plan.

That's all I have for now. I need food

Sunday, July 19, 2009


Today, for the first time in my life, I cried tears of joy.

I decided to watch a mini documentary called Michael J. Fox: Adventures of an Incurable Optimist. It was.. incredible, to say the least. It was an hour long special of Michael J. Fox traveling across the world, seeing how people maintain optimism. One person he spoke with was Lance Armstrong, notorious for battling 4 types of cancer and coming back to win the Tour de France seven times. And as a recent watcher of the TDF, I can say that it wouldn't shock me to see him win again, after a three year absence. I don't want to talk about the whole special, though. If you have TLC, I strongly recommend it. It's going to be on again tonight at 11 and tomorrow at 9pm, I believe.

Other than that, I have nothing of importance to say. The rest of my day was ridiculously uneventful.

So what's the moral of this blog? If Lance Armstrong and Michael J. Fox can embody optimism through their serious illnesses
, and a country such as Bhutan can maintain peace and happiness successfully for a hundred years as a whole people, there is no reason you too, can't have faith. You are the only thing stopping yourself from being happy. I cannot put it more simply.

"If you're worried about falling off the bike, you’d never get on." - Lance Armstrong

Saturday, July 18, 2009

A day of accomplishments

Ah, 'tis indeed a joyous day! And why, might you inquire? Well I spent the whole day playing guitar. I'm actually exaggerating. I spent 95% of the day playing guitar (I do get hungry)

I finally got a real hang of bar chords. It's not like I'd been practicing them, I was just able to do them all of a sudden. Which is very similar to when I finally was able to switch between basic chords. It took me forever until I just did it one day. Anywho, this accomplishment allowed me to finally perfect I'm Yours by Jason Mraz and the guitar version of Ordinary People by John Legend that's been circulating YouTube.

Then in experimenting with bar chords and my capo, I unintentionally stumbled upon an interesting sound. And from there I went on to creating a full song. And yes, I do have those two songs from before, but today's song is such an improvement in that it's not as simple. I don't have lyrics yet. Maybe I'll work on that tomorrow.

This is exhilarating, though. Maybe I've finally stumbled upon that musical quality in me that I knew I had but had never reached. Maybe me becoming a musician isn't completely insane anymore! Haha.

But what I'm getting at is, maybe the things you least expect to accomplish aren't so far-fetched. I've had my guitar for 5 years, and struggled in teaching myself to play it, until one day I picked it up again and within a few months I was making more progress than I had in a lifetime. So, NEVER SAY NEVER. And don't give up. And have faith. And take risks. And any other disgustingly cliche phrase you can think of to go along with it.

And no, I don't think I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here. Haha. That is all. Love and faith, people.

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible" - Walt Disney

Friday, July 17, 2009

I knew all the rules but the rules did not know me, guaranteed

About a week ago, I discovered that the reason for my crappy short-term memory is a vitamin B12 deficiency, common in vegetarians and vegans. I felt like I had been granted the key to life, or at least an opportunity to stop losing my train of thought in the middle of a sentence. And apparently it can also cause weakness (no wonder I couldn't do more sit ups in gym), depression, anemia, and eventually can lead to psychosis. I thought that last bit was interesting. So just remember this the next time an insanely radical vegetarian gets in your face: They're on the verge of mental deterioration due to a lack of B12! Don't criticize, sympathize. Haha.

It rained again today, proving to be a great opportunity to write. I actually combined two melodies I came up with a few months ago with lyrics I wrote today. That brings my number of complete songs to 2. I felt pretty cool. Until I saw this:

How do you beat a guy who writes a song on a tree?!

That's all I have to say for today.

I consider myself a poet first and a musician second. I live like a poet and I'll die like a poet. " - Bob Dylan

P.S. Here's a question to think about: Why do feet smell and noses run?

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Don't threaten me with love, baby. Let's just go walking in the rain.

This moment -right here, right now- is absolute bliss.

It's pouring beautifully outside, and I enjoy it with my very own rainy day routine. First off, I usually hate turning on the main light in my room because it's too bright and feels too artificial. If it's too dark outside, I only really use my desk lamp, which gives the room just enough light. And when it rains, I particularly enforce this rule. I also have a rainy day playlist on my iTunes, which happens to be playing Billie Holiday at this particular moment. It also consists of some very early Bob Dylan, songs from the Across the Universe soundtrack, Jack Johnson, the more acoustic songs of Jason Mraz, the more slow-tempo songs of Miles Davis, and the Moonlight Sonata. And I listen to this combination of rain and music in the middle of my floor in my comfiest PJs. And most of the time, in no more than about ten minutes, I'm inspired to write. I would like to have my very own snack to go with this ritual but the only food you'll consistently find in my house is polish bread.

Anywho, I think everyone should have some sort of rainy day routine, even if it's just a playlist, because it makes thunderstorms more wonderful than depressing.

"Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain"

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Ah, but I was so much older then. I'm younger than that now

Today was a pretty good day I suppose. I didn't fall asleep until 5am so I woke up late.

The only significant thing I did today was go to the library. Again. Yesterday I got The Dharma Bums (I sort of rushed through it last time), The Everything Guide to Understanding Philosophy, and Music Composition for Dummies. Hah. Today I got The Audacity of Hope by the one and only Barack Obama.

I'm particularly excited about the philosophy book. First off, I challenge anyone of you to pick up an 18th century philosophy book that spends 50 pages talking about the complexities of mere being and perceiving yourself as being. It is mind numbingly hard, and I cannot fathom writing something like that. But yeah, the book I got obviously makes it easy to understand the general ideas of history's philosophers.

Thank God I've been able to read lately. I can either spend weeks reading like 20 books or I am unable to touch a book at all. After I read my library books and Fight Club, I'm setting out to get Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia by Rob Brezsny. His podcasts are insanely uplifting.

That's his website.

Oh, and Deb has proclaimed herself to be my agent, and apparently I need to stop being self conscious about my writing. Which I am. It's almost kind of scary. But in my recent streak of optimism, I'm trying to break my habit of comparing myself to other writers. Tomorrow I'm supposed to let Ruben (Deb's little brother) read something, and I feel that I'd like to write something new today. So I shall be off

"Astonishment is the root of philosophy." - Paul Tillich

I'm not down

Okay so there's a few things to cover.

First off, new blog! Yay! I love starting new accounts on new sites.

Secondly, the name. It's probably temporary. It's a reference to Fight Club. Edward Norton, or the Narrator, finds a series of journals, each one from the point of view of a body part. "I am Jack's medulla oblongata" or "I am Jack's raging bile duct" and throughout the rest of the movie he uses these in his narration. "I am Jack's complete lack of surprise" or "I am Jack's broken heart." So there ya go.

Now, onto the real bloggy part. (That's a technical term, by the way). Why have I started this? An overwhelming amount of inspiration within just a few days. I've been having a very off year. Months of roller coaster moods, especially in the month of June, where the drops were particularly steep. I don't want to get into why, I'll just say it was a mess of different things. But now, I finally feel as if I've gotten off this seemingly neverending ride (okay. The coaster metaphor stops there. Hah). I actually had to force myself to do it. I was becoming way too dependent on others and letting uncontrollable things get to me. Once I started feeling self sufficient, I felt generally more positive. Then I stumbled onto the blog of Jason Mraz, and my optimism sky-rocketed.

And now I feel as if my heart is exploding, but in a good way. It's overflowing with this need to try and spread my enlightenment. So maybe that's what I'll do here, along with my usual daily rants/rambles. I'm excited, I just hope you don't get too bored.

Okay, I think I'm good for this first blog.