Friday, December 24, 2010

War is over (if you want it)

Once again, I'm feeling incredibly inspired. Jazz, poetry, beatniks, and cigarettes is how I would sum up my mood right now. Very.. mellow. Very .. with the flow.

And I'm using this opportunity to encourage you to get into a flow too. Not necessarily my flow, but your very own. Because we all have our own flow to go with. So find your flow, man. It's neither better nor worse than mine, just simply yours.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

P.S. I made a Tumblr so if you happen to be reading this post and you happen to have an interest in looking at it, here you go.

Peace to the cosmos.

Sunday, December 12, 2010


Listening to The Animals' cover of House of the Rising Sun. It's... exhilerating. Vitalizing my mind, provoking my thoughts, galvanizing my sense of being. Inspiring me to.. act. Not in a theatrical, learning lines kind of way. Act as in .. taking action; doing.

Yes, I'm rambling. Rambling on. I promise you I'm not intoxicated. I'm just in a .. raw state of mind...? Lack of hesitation, just writing. Now, I know what you may be thinking, "What is the point? She's telling us her state, but is she going to use it to convey something?" And that is a great question, my dear follower.

Yes, I have a point. I'm just not quite sure of it. And isn't that it, really? Isn't the big, cosmic point supposed to be that we don't know our own point? And in a cruel irony, the attempt to discover our point is what, in the end, separates us from it.

And now, I transition into Bird of Prey by Jim Morrison, which never fails to give me the chills.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

One look in the mirror and I'm tickled pink, I don't give a hoot about what you think.

To further emphasize the point of the Weezer lyric in the blog title, Ralph Waldo Emerson stated, "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

I don't wear what I wear to make people like me, to make people dislike me, or to get any sort of attention. I wear it because it makes sense to me, because I like it. And that goes for everything I do. Sure, there are times when I like to make a nice impression but at the end of the day, I'm happy if I have expressed myself to the fullest degree. And recently I feel like I've seen so many people who are told how they should be, how they should improve themselves to better accomodate a certain standard.

On a similar-ish note, over the past week I've had a strong desire to be by myself, which in turn made school less bearable. But it's kind of going the opposite way. Now I want to be surrounded by people that I can inspire and be inspired by. I need intellectual stimulation from someone new and hopefully provide the same for them. Where is such a person? Probably right in front of me, I don't know (metaphorically speaking)

Friday, November 26, 2010

Just can't make up my mind.

I have decided to return. Turns out I couldn't make it a few months on Xanga without eventually neglecting my posts. Hah.

Every year, my high school plays football against the rival team on Thanksgiving, which has been going on for 115 years I believe. Yesterday I stepped out of the house, only to find that it was snowing here in Philly. It was a ridiculously magical moment for me, which was pretty funny in comparison to my friend's "Fuuuucckkk!" reaction.

It provided me with the feeling I have been waiting for since Spring. A feeling of comfort, possibility, and reassurance that can be found in many places, but seems to particularly resonate in the arrival of snow. I greatly look forward to a snowy December, listening to my Frank Sinatra records and drinking soy chai lattes (because to me, they taste like Christmas).

I would also like to list some things I am thankful for, as I did in my Thanksgiving post last year.
(No particular order, except the first 3. In real life even Coke couldn't come before Bob Dylan)
1. My friends and family
2. Particularly my one aunt who, during my visit to Poland this past summer, arranged for me to see my dad for the first time in 12 years.
3. The many people I was fortunate enough to meet in recent months
4. Sabra hummus
5. Coca-Cola
6. Bob Dylan
7. Pot
8. Jason Segel movies/Freaks and Geeks
9. Allen Ginsberg poems
10. The existence of nebulae
11. My english teacher
12. The art department at my school
13. Holiday dinners you genuinely like to attend
14. Little Nicky's pizzeria and their falafel
15. My record player
16. The 18 people who seem to enjoy my posts
17. Ghost Hunters/the TAPS team. Best show ever.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Wind in my hair, I feel part of everywhere

I have several things to get off my chest.

First, life is beautiful. I get angry so often, but despite that, I have the greatest faith that this world is a beautiful thing. So many people are losing hope in humanity because of the things that are happening, like the recent oil spill. They're convinced the world is ending, and that we're doomed. I think otherwise. I think this is all a test, or at least a sort of climax. Things are going to continue to worsen, until we are at a point where we think things can't possibly get worse. And then they'll get worse. But after that, we're going to enter a period of peace and regrowth. As I've mentioned in an earlier post, believing in doom is boring. Using the metaphor of a book, the plot would be entirely too mundane if nothing changed or continued going down the same road. It would be a static story. One theory of mine (well, not really MINE, countless people thought the same before me) is that eventually, mother nature will consume and take back control of the Earth, and man will revert to nature, learning to coexist with it.

And to kick off of that, I'd like to affirm my love of the cosmos. To fully express how I feel about outer space would take days.

^ That is the Jellyfish Nebula

This is what I imagine when I look up at the stars (well, the few stars I see in Philly)

It leaves me in complete awe. "The sky is the limit" is far too limiting for me. If we think about how big this universe is, the sky comes up intensely short. To me, there is no limit. We are in an ever expanding universe. Okay, I should stop.

Lastly, I have complete confidence in my future. I will make something of myself and no one will ever tell me otherwise. For now, I am following the path of music but I feel as if eventually, I will be meant to do something epic. Something completely new. It both scares and excites me.

I leave you off with several quotes:
"We and the cosmos are one. The cosmos is a vast body, of which we are still parts. The sun is a great heart whose tremors run through our smallest veins. The moon is a great gleaming nerve-centre from which we quiver forever. Who knows the power that Saturn has over us or Venus But it is a vital power, rippling exquisitely through us all the time... Now all this is literally true, as men knew in the great past and as they will know again." - D. H. Lawrence

"When your heart is filled with love, you will experience the Divine in the entire cosmos." - Sri Sathya Sai Baba

"We are in the cosmos and the cosmos is in us." - Matthew Fox

And now, to get back to my Lost marathon :]]]]

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

An ancient lunatic reigns in the trees of the night

Can I seriously reiterate my love of Edie Sedgwick?!

She's ridiculously fabulous, and it seems so effortless. I feel that I cannot fully convey how much she means to me. Some may wonder why. After all, she wasted her money away and eventually died of a drug overdose.

But beyond that, I see someone who was completely herself. Someone who did things not to be fashionable, but because they were in accordance with who she was. Someone who emanated so much life in every photograph. I can only imagine what it must've been like to be in her presence. She didn't just have a certain something, she had a certain everything about her. I don't even know if I'm making sense anymore.

School is ending the day after tomorrow. I'm slightly worried about my report card, but other than that, I'm ready to have a most glorious summer :]

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Floating vibes

Sometimes, like now, I wish I could be alone. Just for a few moments. Truly alone. On the dark side of Planet X where all I could hear are my own thoughts and the faint melody of Claire De Lune. Where I wouldn't have to worry about being seen as a disappointment.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Round and round


I want to talk to someone entirely new. It doesn't matter who. Someone across the street or across the world. I want to exchange life stories and become great friends. Someone I can contemplate outer space with.

Dance, dance, dance

I am cultivating Relaxed Alertness, because that will make me receptive to high-quality clues about how to proceed.

I am expressing Casual Perfectionism, because that way I will thoroughly enjoy being excellent, and not stress about it.

I am full of Diligent Indifference, working hard out of love for the work and not being attached to the outcome.

I am practicing Serene Debauchery, because if I'm not manically obsessed with looking for opportunities to cut loose, those opportunities will present themselves to me with grace and frequency.

My room is so clean, I love it. Currently listening to Neil Young, Live at Massey Hall while contemplating and affirming my place in the world.

I hope everyone one truly has a lovely day.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Hello daddy, hello mom

I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch cherry bomb.

"Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends."

There are so many friends that I rarely see or talk to anymore, but the quote above reminds me that those people will always be important to me.

Today I'm going over my friend Laura's house to sleep over and babysit her nephew. I'm excited for two reasons. One, I finally get to babysit! And her nephew is to die for :] Secondly, because I haven't seen Laura since my birthday last August.

I don't know, I just like letting people know that I will always be there for them.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Things on my mind.

In a way, everyone is my hero. Some may say that that would rob the word of its meaning if it's assigned so easily. Obviously some people influence me more than others, but every one in this world has had some sort of effect on me. It's not about putting only certain people on a pedestal. It's about co-existing and appreciating what anyone has to offer. On the surface, what some people do may not be worth praising, but it can still alter you for the better. I don't know. I just wanted to get that out there. Even if I don't know you or you have wronged me, I still acknowledge your own unique place in this universe and I thank you for it because I'm at a point in my way of thinking where I will take anything as a positive influence.

Okay, to end this post, I encourage you to be. Exist as your own beautiful self and don't succumb to other people's idea of reality. There will be no limits to what you can do.

Peace to the cosmos.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Girl on Fire

This is a tribute to my inspiration, Edie Sedgwick :]

So insanely beautiful. Seriously, I'd marry her if I could. Haha

Saturday, April 3, 2010

A toast.

Here's to Strawberry fields.
Here's to 'nothing is real'.
Here's to the milliseconds occasionally going in slow motion without our knowledge.
Here's to perfect moments.
Here's to dreamy shades of gold.
Here's to naturally-occuring melodies.
Here's to dancing beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free.
Here's to us.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Clown in the Moon

My tears are like the quiet drift
Of petals from some magic rose;
And all my grief flows from the rift
Of unremembered skies and snows.

I think, that if I touched the earth,
It would crumble;
It is so sad and beautiful,
So tremulously like a dream.

-Dylan Thomas

I love this poem to death.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Back to the future.

So I have returned. Trust me, my three months hiatus was not premeditated. My laptop kind of got a virus and I couldn't log into my account? But all is well now. I'll attempt to write something worthwhile soon.

Have a lovely day :]